This is how to survive in a toxic workplace 3 secrets from research

This is how to survive in a toxic workplace 3 secrets from researchThis is how to survive in a toxic workplace 3 secrets from researchDo you deal with some awful people at work? Do they annoy you beyond belief at times?Actually, its a lot worse than that - whether you realize it or elendlage. In plus-rechnen to making you miserable, those impossible baboes and jerk co-workers can reduce your productivity, reduce your empathy, and even give you a heart attack.FollowLadders on FlipboardFollow Ladders magazines on Flipboard titelingHappiness,Productivity,Job Satisfaction,Neuroscience, andmoraFromThe Ahole Survival Guide How to verstndigung im strafverfahren With People Who Treat You Like DirtNew nurses bullied by veteran nurses and doctors put forth less effort and develop less empathy for patients. Service employees who are subjected to customer aggression report mora mental and physical health herausforderungs and are less committed to their jobs a twenty-year study that tracked six thousand British civil servants found that when their bosses criticized them unfairly, didnt listen to their problems, and rarely praised them, employees suffered mora angina, heart attacks, and deaths for heart disease.In the past, weve reviewed dealing with workplacenarcissists, psychopaths, and bullies. But we really need to hear from the 1 guy on coping withoffice monsters.Stanford professor Bob Sutton has a new book coming out The Ahole Survival Guide How to Deal With People Who Treat You Like Dirt.It offers a ton of excellent strategies for staying sane when youre surrounded by horrible people. Lets look at a few of the top tipsBob has to offerDodge Bullets, NeoThe numero uno strategy for dealing with the workplace dregs of humanity is simple avoid them. That doesnt mean its always easy, but before you start having revenge fantasies the first thing you want to think about is how to minimize contact.Because the worst thing these monsters can do isnt annoy or harass you - just like in a zombie or vampire film, they can turn you into one of them. If you spend fruchtwein of your day around a jerk, your option of becoming a jerk more than doubles.FromThe Ahole Survival Guide How to Deal With People Who Treat You Like DirtIn 2016 Housman told Fast Company that they discovered a toxic density effect much like research shows rudeness spreads like a common cold, they found that sitting near a destructive jerk dramatically increases a workers risk of infection. Housman explained, If you add a toxic worker to within a 25-foot radius of a focal worker, the aussicht that the focal worker becomes a toxic worker themselves more than doubles (112.5% increase).Ask if you can move your desk. Spend time working in conference rooms or public spaces if possible.But thats leid always an option. So you may need a Secret Service detail. One of the best meta-strategies for coping with jerks is to formation together with others who are suffering with you.If youre lucky, you migh t have a supervisor who can provide some cover. But co-workers canhelp too.If you and your alliestake turns jumping on the grenade and handhabung The Beast it can offer each of you some stress-free time to recover and actually get some work done.FromThe Ahole Survival Guide How to Deal With People Who Treat You Like DirtA 2013 study of nearly two thousand Finnish dentists found that when they worked in close cooperation with their dental assistants, dentists suffered less pressure to present fake emotions to their patients and performed their jobs better. Part of the reason, the researchers suggest, is that a skilled dental assistant (who usually sees patients before the dentist and often sees them more frequently) can buffer the dentist from difficult and demanding patients. In other words, they take the patients flak and cool them out, which spares dentists from having to deal with it.But sometimes theres nowhere to hide and theres no way tolimit exposure toa boss who roams around making life intolerable. So be a smart mouse and try hanging a bell around the cats neck.If the boss has a sympathetic assistant, get them on your side. They can tell you when the dragon is in a fire-breathing mood and when hes relatively calm and stable. This will allow you to know when its stahlkammer - and when its time to cower in the bathroom.FromThe Ahole Survival Guide How to Deal With People Who Treat You Like DirtIn some places, the bosss administrative assistant is recruited to inform colleagues when the boss is in a foul mood (and should be avoided or handled with care) or feeling upbeat (and it is a good time to visit or raise a sensitive subject.)(To learn more tips on living an awesome life, check out my book here.)But maybethe duck and cover approachaint gonna fly. Heres where we need some serious psychology to keep your head on straight when someone is intent on making you miserableMind Tricks That Protect Your SoulCognitive Behavioral Therapy recommends something called reappraisal. Thats a fancy word for interpreting your situation differently. You may not be able to change the situation, but you can change how you perceive it. (Shout out to myancient Stoic homies.)Its not a crisis - its a challenge. Its not a frustration - its a puzzle to be solved. Theyre not an intolerable boss - theyre a cranky child.FromThe Ahole Survival Guide How to Deal With People Who Treat You Like DirtSocial psychologists and other researchers have shown that reframing (or reappraising) disturbing facts or distressing experiences in a more positive light - while not a cure-all - can provide relief. For example, whether the saatkorn experience is portrayed as a fun and exciting challenge - versus a distressing threat - can transform how people feel and perform in response.You want to depersonalize whatever stress theyre giving you. Theyre in a bad mood or they have issues.Its not about you. Dont treat dealing with them like a nightmare, take a lesson from N avy SEALs, Army Rdorfwiesesand Special Forcessoldiers who all deal with stress by reappraising it as a game.But you will have to talk to your tormentor every now and then. And theyll probably do their shouting act. When they do, take a tip fromdebt collectors who routinely take abuse from the people they call. Slow your speech down and the more worked up the other side gets, the more calm you want to be.FromThe Ahole Survival Guide How to Deal With People Who Treat You Like DirtWe were taught that the more irate the debtor - the more he or she screamed, swore and insulted us - the more long pauses we should take before answering questions and the more clearly and calmly we should talk.Hostage negotiators and clinical psychologists both use this same strategy to deal with the fruchtwein out of control people imaginable.(To learn how to deal with a narcissist, click here.)So you can reappraise or slow things down to help you cope. But you dont want these strategies to make you compl acent when youre dealing with serious abusive behavior. So how do you fight back?How To Fight BackTo sum up the bulk of the research in one word Dont.Its usually not worth it. First off, its unlikely to work. As Bob notes Hornstein found that 68% of the payback efforts that he studied failed to stop abusive bosses.And having a desire to punish actually makes you miserable.FromThe Ahole Survival Guide How to Deal With People Who Treat You Like DirtCarlsmith explained, In actuality punishers ruminate on their deed and feel worse than those who cannot avenge a wrong and people who dont have a chance to take revenge are forced, in a sense, to move on a focus on something different.Finding another job, switching roles, or avoiding the problem person have less of a chance of blowing up in your face and can put you on a better track to happiness.Still wanting revenge? Fine, have it your way - you bully. Well call this the In case of emergency, break glass section.Before taking the warpath , Bob suggests you think about three critical resourcesHow much power do you have? If youre the janitor and youre having problems with the CEO, good luck. If your tormentor is a peer, youve got a better shot at taking them on.Documentation Avoid he-said, she-said. Keep track of abusive incidents, emails, etc. Go into the fight with real proof.SolidarityThis is the big one. Dont fight backalone. Research shows a team effort to bring down a jerk is far more successful and safer than trying to be a hero by yourself.FromThe Ahole Survival Guide How to Deal With People Who Treat You Like DirtA study by Professor Pamela Lutgen-Sandvik found that when bullied employees banded together to fight back, authorities punished 58% of the abusers and none of the bullied employees were fired. But when employees battled alone, only 27% of the bullies were punished and 20% of the bullied employees were fired.And when you approach a superior or the HR department about the problem, youre much more like ly to have your complaint well-received if you have evidence and you seem like youre focused on the greater good, not just a selfish desire to get even.FromThe Ahole Survival Guide How to Deal With People Who Treat You Like DirtResearch on stimmung anger and righteous anger suggests that confrontation is most likely to neuordnung offenders, be seen as socially acceptable, and mobilize support when 1) It is justified - there is good evidence that the person is doing something bad. 2) The motivation for the confrontation is seen as constructive and aimed at improving the greater good not just a selfish, vindictive, or irrational urge to inflict harm on an enemy or nemesis.(To learn how to deal with workplace psychopaths, click here.)Okay, weve learned a lot from Bob. Lets round it up and find out how you canreappraise bad behavior without even tryingSum UpHeres what Stanford professor Bob Sutton has to say about dealing with those impossible people in a toxic workplaceAvoid them Move your desk, get backup or throw a bell around the cats neck so you know theyre coming.Use Reappraisal Its not a disaster, its a challenge. Its not a blog post, its a masterful work of epic writing.Fight Back - Carefully Dont seek revenge. But if you do, evaluate the power dynamics, document everything, get help, and focus on the common good.Reappraisal can be incredibly powerful. You use it all the time - and often you dont even know it. Many years ago I had an awful landlord. Just talking with the guy usually had me wondering how Id need to angle his body to properly bury him in the flowerbed.But my roommate at the time was unflappable when dealing with the tyrant. I asked David how he did it. David replied, His mother has cancer.In the blink of an eye, the landlord went from an evil jerk to someone who was suffering. His rudeness didnt stop, but Inever let himget on my nerves again. Id reappraised his behavior without even trying, just by seeing him in a different light.Fighting bad behavior rarely works. Avoiding it is a great strategy but its not always an option. Both of those two rely on the outside world being changed, and thats why theyre difficult.But what you can always control is how you interpret what you see. So reappraise the awful behavior to something more acceptable. And as soon as youre done weaving a more tolerable story, move on to step 2Run for the exit.Join over 290,000 readers.Get a free weekly update via emailhere.Related postsNew Neuroscience Reveals 4 Rituals That Will Make You HappyNew Harvard Research Reveals A Fun Way To Be More SuccessfulHow To Get People To Like You 7 Ways From An FBI Behavior ExpertThis articleoriginally appeared at Barking Up the Wrong Tree.This is how to survive in a toxic workplace 3 secrets from researchDo you deal with some awful people at work? Do they annoy you beyond belief at times?Actually, its a lot worse than that - whether you realize it or not. In addition to making you miserable, those impossib le bosses and jerk co-workers can reduce your productivity, reduce your empathy, and even give you a heart attack.FromThe Ahole Survival Guide How to Deal With People Who Treat You Like DirtNew nurses bullied by veteran nurses and doctors put forth less effort and develop less empathy for patients. Service employees who are subjected to customer aggression report more mental and physical health problems and are less committed to their jobs a twenty-year study that tracked six thousand British civil servants found that when their bosses criticized them unfairly, didnt listen to their problems, and rarely praised them, employees suffered more angina, heart attacks, and deaths for heart disease.In the past, weve reviewed dealing with workplacenarcissists, psychopaths, and bullies. But we really need to hear from the 1 guy on coping withoffice monsters.Stanford professor Bob Sutton has a new book coming out The Ahole Survival Guide How to Deal With People Who Treat You Like Dirt.It offe rs a ton of excellent strategies for staying sane when youre surrounded by horrible people. Lets look at a few of the top tipsBob has to offerDodge Bullets, NeoThe numero uno strategy for dealing with the workplace dregs of humanity is simple avoid them. That doesnt mean its always easy, but before you start having revenge fantasies the first thing you want to think about is how to minimize contact.Because the worst thing these monsters can do isnt annoy or harass you - just like in a zombie or vampire film, they can turn you into one of them. If you spend most of your day around a jerk, your chance of becoming a jerk more than doubles.FromThe Ahole Survival Guide How to Deal With People Who Treat You Like DirtIn 2016 Housman told Fast Company that they discovered a toxic density effect much like research shows rudeness spreads like a common cold, they found that sitting near a destructive jerk dramatically increases a workers risk of infection. Housman explained, If you add a toxi c worker to within a 25-foot radius of a focal worker, the chance that the focal worker becomes a toxic worker themselves more than doubles (112.5% increase).Ask if you can move your desk. Spend time working in conference rooms or public spaces if possible.But thats not always an option. So you may need a Secret Service detail. One of the best meta-strategies for coping with jerks is to band together with others who are suffering with you.If youre lucky, you might have a supervisor who can provide some cover. But co-workers canhelp too.If you and your alliestake turns jumping on the grenade and handling The Beast it can offer each of you some stress-free time to recover and actually get some work done.FromThe Ahole Survival Guide How to Deal With People Who Treat You Like DirtA 2013 study of nearly two thousand Finnish dentists found that when they worked in close cooperation with their dental assistants, dentists suffered less pressure to present fake emotions to their patients and performed their jobs better. Part of the reason, the researchers suggest, is that a skilled dental assistant (who usually sees patients before the dentist and often sees them more frequently) can buffer the dentist from difficult and demanding patients. In other words, they take the patients flak and cool them out, which spares dentists from having to deal with it.But sometimes theres nowhere to hide and theres no way tolimit exposure toa boss who roams around making life intolerable. So be a smart mouse and try hanging a bell around the cats neck.If the boss has a sympathetic assistant, get them on your side. They can tell you when the dragon is in a fire-breathing mood and when hes relatively calm and stable. This will allow you to know when its safe - and when its time to cower in the bathroom.FromThe Ahole Survival Guide How to Deal With People Who Treat You Like DirtIn some places, the bosss administrative assistant is recruited to inform colleagues when the boss is in a foul mood (and should be avoided or handled with care) or feeling upbeat (and it is a good time to visit or raise a sensitive subject.)(To learn more tips on living an awesome life, check out my book here.)But maybethe duck and cover approachaint gonna fly. Heres where we need some serious psychology to keep your head on straight when someone is intent on making you miserableMind Tricks That Protect Your SoulCognitive Behavioral Therapy recommends something called reappraisal. Thats a fancy word for interpreting your situation differently. You may not be able to change the situation, but you can change how you perceive it. (Shout out to myancient Stoic homies.)Its not a crisis - its a challenge. Its not a frustration - its a puzzle to be solved. Theyre not an intolerable boss - theyre a cranky child.FromThe Ahole Survival Guide How to Deal With People Who Treat You Like DirtSocial psychologists and other researchers have shown that reframing (or reappraising) disturbing facts or dist ressing experiences in a more positive light - while not a cure-all - can provide relief. For example, whether the same experience is portrayed as a fun and exciting challenge - versus a distressing threat - can transform how people feel and perform in response.You want to depersonalize whatever stress theyre giving you. Theyre in a bad mood or they have issues.Its not about you. Dont treat dealing with them like a nightmare, take a lesson from Navy SEALs, Army Rangersand Special Forcessoldiers who all deal with stress by reappraising it as a game.But you will have to talk to your tormentor every now and then. And theyll probably do their shouting act. When they do, take a tip fromdebt collectors who routinely take abuse from the people they call. Slow your speech down and the more worked up the other side gets, the more calm you want to be.FromThe Ahole Survival Guide How to Deal With People Who Treat You Like DirtWe were taught that the more irate the debtor - the more he or she screamed, swore and insulted us - the more long pauses we should take before answering questions and the more clearly and calmly we should talk.Hostage negotiators and clinical psychologists both use this same strategy to deal with the most out of control people imaginable.(To learn how to deal with a narcissist, click here.)So you can reappraise or slow things down to help you cope. But you dont want these strategies to make you complacent when youre dealing with serious abusive behavior. So how do you fight back?How To Fight BackTo sum up the bulk of the research in one word Dont.Its usually not worth it. First off, its unlikely to work. As Bob notes Hornstein found that 68% of the payback efforts that he studied failed to stop abusive bosses.And having a desire to punish actually makes you miserable.FromThe Ahole Survival Guide How to Deal With People Who Treat You Like DirtCarlsmith explained, In actuality punishers ruminate on their deed and feel worse than those who canno t avenge a wrong and people who dont have a chance to take revenge are forced, in a sense, to move on a focus on something different.Finding another job, switching roles, or avoiding the problem person have less of a chance of blowing up in your face and can put you on a better track to happiness.Still wanting revenge? Fine, have it your way - you bully. Well call this the In case of emergency, break glass section.Before taking the warpath, Bob suggests you think about three critical resourcesHow much power do you have? If youre the janitor and youre having problems with the CEO, good luck. If your tormentor is a peer, youve got a better shot at taking them on.Documentation Avoid he-said, she-said. Keep track of abusive incidents, emails, etc. Go into the fight with real proof.SolidarityThis is the big one. Dont fight backalone. Research shows a team effort to bring down a jerk is far more successful and safer than trying to be a hero by yourself.FromThe Ahole Survival Guide How to Deal With People Who Treat You Like DirtA study by Professor Pamela Lutgen-Sandvik found that when bullied employees banded together to fight back, authorities punished 58% of the abusers and none of the bullied employees were fired. But when employees battled alone, only 27% of the bullies were punished and 20% of the bullied employees were fired.And when you approach a superior or the HR department about the problem, youre much more likely to have your complaint well-received if you have evidence and you seem like youre focused on the greater good, not just a selfish desire to get even.FromThe Ahole Survival Guide How to Deal With People Who Treat You Like DirtResearch on moral anger and righteous anger suggests that confrontation is most likely to reform offenders, be seen as socially acceptable, and mobilize support when 1) It is justified - there is good evidence that the person is doing something bad. 2) The motivation for the confrontation is seen as constructive and aimed at improving the greater good not just a selfish, vindictive, or irrational urge to inflict harm on an enemy or nemesis.(To learn how to deal with workplace psychopaths, click here.)Okay, weve learned a lot from Bob. Lets round it up and find out how you canreappraise bad behavior without even tryingSum UpHeres what Stanford professor Bob Sutton has to say about dealing with those impossible people in a toxic workplaceAvoid them Move your desk, get backup or throw a bell around the cats neck so you know theyre coming.Use Reappraisal Its not a disaster, its a challenge. Its not a blog post, its a masterful work of epic writing.Fight Back - Carefully Dont seek revenge. But if you do, evaluate the power dynamics, document everything, get help, and focus on the common good.Reappraisal can be incredibly powerful. You use it all the time - and often you dont even know it. Many years ago I had an awful landlord. Just talking with the guy usually had me wondering how Id need to angle his body to properly bury him in the flowerbed.But my roommate at the time was unflappable when dealing with the tyrant. I asked David how he did it. David replied, His mother has cancer.In the blink of an eye, the landlord went from an evil jerk to someone who was suffering. His rudeness didnt stop, but Inever let himget on my nerves again. Id reappraised his behavior without even trying, just by seeing him in a different light.Fighting bad behavior rarely works. Avoiding it is a great strategy but its not always an option. Both of those two rely on the outside world being changed, and thats why theyre difficult.But what you can always control is how you interpret what you see. So reappraise the awful behavior to something more acceptable. And as soon as youre done weaving a more tolerable story, move on to step 2Run for the exit.Join over 290,000 readers.Get a free weekly update via emailhere.Related postsNew Neuroscience Reveals 4 Rituals That Will Make You HappyNew Harvard Research Reveals A Fun Way To Be More SuccessfulHow To Get People To Like You 7 Ways From An FBI Behavior ExpertThis articleoriginally appeared at Barking Up the Wrong Tree.This is how to survive in a toxic workplace 3 secrets from researchDo you deal with some awful people at work? Do they annoy you beyond belief at times?Actually, its a lot worse than that - whether you realize it or not. In addition to making you miserable, those impossible bosses and jerk co-workers can reduce your productivity, reduce your empathy, and even give you a heart attack.FromThe Ahole Survival Guide How to Deal With People Who Treat You Like DirtNew nurses bullied by veteran nurses and doctors put forth less effort and develop less empathy for patients. Service employees who are subjected to customer aggression report more mental and physical health problems and are less committed to their jobs a twenty-year study that tracked six thousand British civil servants found that when their bosses criticized them un fairly, didnt listen to their problems, and rarely praised them, employees suffered more angina, heart attacks, and deaths for heart disease.In the past, weve reviewed dealing with workplacenarcissists, psychopaths, and bullies. But we really need to hear from the 1 guy on coping withoffice monsters.Stanford professor Bob Sutton has a new book coming out The Ahole Survival Guide How to Deal With People Who Treat You Like Dirt.It offers a ton of excellent strategies for staying sane when youre surrounded by horrible people. Lets look at a few of the top tipsBob has to offerDodge Bullets, NeoThe numero uno strategy for dealing with the workplace dregs of humanity is simple avoid them. That doesnt mean its always easy, but before you start having revenge fantasies the first thing you want to think about is how to minimize contact.Because the worst thing these monsters can do isnt annoy or harass you - just like in a zombie or vampire film, they can turn you into one of them. If you sp end most of your day around a jerk, your chance of becoming a jerk more than doubles.FromThe Ahole Survival Guide How to Deal With People Who Treat You Like DirtIn 2016 Housman told Fast Company that they discovered a toxic density effect much like research shows rudeness spreads like a common cold, they found that sitting near a destructive jerk dramatically increases a workers risk of infection. Housman explained, If you add a toxic worker to within a 25-foot radius of a focal worker, the chance that the focal worker becomes a toxic worker themselves more than doubles (112.5% increase).Ask if you can move your desk. Spend time working in conference rooms or public spaces if possible.But thats not always an option. So you may need a Secret Service detail. One of the best meta-strategies for coping with jerks is to band together with others who are suffering with you.If youre lucky, you might have a supervisor who can provide some cover. But co-workers canhelp too.If you and your al liestake turns jumping on the grenade and handling The Beast it can offer each of you some stress-free time to recover and actually get some work done.FromThe Ahole Survival Guide How to Deal With People Who Treat You Like DirtA 2013 study of nearly two thousand Finnish dentists found that when they worked in close cooperation with their dental assistants, dentists suffered less pressure to present fake emotions to their patients and performed their jobs better. Part of the reason, the researchers suggest, is that a skilled dental assistant (who usually sees patients before the dentist and often sees them more frequently) can buffer the dentist from difficult and demanding patients. In other words, they take the patients flak and cool them out, which spares dentists from having to deal with it.But sometimes theres nowhere to hide and theres no way tolimit exposure toa boss who roams around making life intolerable. So be a smart mouse and try hanging a bell around the cats neck.If th e boss has a sympathetic assistant, get them on your side. They can tell you when the dragon is in a fire-breathing mood and when hes relatively calm and stable. This will allow you to know when its safe - and when its time to cower in the bathroom.FromThe Ahole Survival Guide How to Deal With People Who Treat You Like DirtIn some places, the bosss administrative assistant is recruited to inform colleagues when the boss is in a foul mood (and should be avoided or handled with care) or feeling upbeat (and it is a good time to visit or raise a sensitive subject.)(To learn more tips on living an awesome life, check out my book here.)But maybethe duck and cover approachaint gonna fly. Heres where we need some serious psychology to keep your head on straight when someone is intent on making you miserableMind Tricks That Protect Your SoulCognitive Behavioral Therapy recommends something called reappraisal. Thats a fancy word for interpreting your situation differently. You may not be abl e to change the situation, but you can change how you perceive it. (Shout out to myancient Stoic homies.)Its not a crisis - its a challenge. Its not a frustration - its a puzzle to be solved. Theyre not an intolerable boss - theyre a cranky child.FromThe Ahole Survival Guide How to Deal With People Who Treat You Like DirtSocial psychologists and other researchers have shown that reframing (or reappraising) disturbing facts or distressing experiences in a more positive light - while not a cure-all - can provide relief. For example, whether the same experience is portrayed as a fun and exciting challenge - versus a distressing threat - can transform how people feel and perform in response.You want to depersonalize whatever stress theyre giving you. Theyre in a bad mood or they have issues.Its not about you. Dont treat dealing with them like a nightmare, take a lesson from Navy SEALs, Army Rangersand Special Forcessoldiers who all deal with stress by reappraising it as a game.Bu t you will have to talk to your tormentor every now and then. And theyll probably do their shouting act. When they do, take a tip fromdebt collectors who routinely take abuse from the people they call. Slow your speech down and the more worked up the other side gets, the more calm you want to be.FromThe Ahole Survival Guide How to Deal With People Who Treat You Like DirtWe were taught that the more irate the debtor - the more he or she screamed, swore and insulted us - the more long pauses we should take before answering questions and the more clearly and calmly we should talk.Hostage negotiators and clinical psychologists both use this same strategy to deal with the most out of control people imaginable.(To learn how to deal with a narcissist, click here.)So you can reappraise or slow things down to help you cope. But you dont want these strategies to make you complacent when youre dealing with serious abusive behavior. So how do you fight back?How To Fight BackTo sum up the bulk of the research in one word Dont.Its usually not worth it. First off, its unlikely to work. As Bob notes Hornstein found that 68% of the payback efforts that he studied failed to stop abusive bosses.And having a desire to punish actually makes you miserable.FromThe Ahole Survival Guide How to Deal With People Who Treat You Like DirtCarlsmith explained, In actuality punishers ruminate on their deed and feel worse than those who cannot avenge a wrong and people who dont have a chance to take revenge are forced, in a sense, to move on a focus on something different.Finding another job, switching roles, or avoiding the problem person have less of a chance of blowing up in your face and can put you on a better track to happiness.Still wanting revenge? Fine, have it your way - you bully. Well call this the In case of emergency, break glass section.Before taking the warpath, Bob suggests you think about three critical resourcesHow much power do you have? If youre the janitor and youre ha ving problems with the CEO, good luck. If your tormentor is a peer, youve got a better shot at taking them on.Documentation Avoid he-said, she-said. Keep track of abusive incidents, emails, etc. Go into the fight with real proof.SolidarityThis is the big one. Dont fight backalone. Research shows a team effort to bring down a jerk is far more successful and safer than trying to be a hero by yourself.FromThe Ahole Survival Guide How to Deal With People Who Treat You Like DirtA study by Professor Pamela Lutgen-Sandvik found that when bullied employees banded together to fight back, authorities punished 58% of the abusers and none of the bullied employees were fired. But when employees battled alone, only 27% of the bullies were punished and 20% of the bullied employees were fired.And when you approach a superior or the HR department about the problem, youre much more likely to have your complaint well-received if you have evidence and you seem like youre focused on the greater good, no t just a selfish desire to get even.FromThe Ahole Survival Guide How to Deal With People Who Treat You Like DirtResearch on moral anger and righteous anger suggests that confrontation is most likely to reform offenders, be seen as socially acceptable, and mobilize support when 1) It is justified - there is good evidence that the person is doing something bad. 2) The motivation for the confrontation is seen as constructive and aimed at improving the greater good not just a selfish, vindictive, or irrational urge to inflict harm on an enemy or nemesis.(To learn how to deal with workplace psychopaths, click here.)Okay, weve learned a lot from Bob. Lets round it up and find out how you canreappraise bad behavior without even tryingSum UpHeres what Stanford professor Bob Sutton has to say about dealing with those impossible people in a toxic workplaceAvoid them Move your desk, get backup or throw a bell around the cats neck so you know theyre coming.Use Reappraisal Its not a disaster, i ts a challenge. Its not a blog post, its a masterful work of epic writing.Fight Back - Carefully Dont seek revenge. But if you do, evaluate the power dynamics, document everything, get help, and focus on the common good.Reappraisal can be incredibly powerful. You use it all the time - and often you dont even know it. Many years ago I had an awful landlord. Just talking with the guy usually had me wondering how Id need to angle his body to properly bury him in the flowerbed.But my roommate at the time was unflappable when dealing with the tyrant. I asked David how he did it. David replied, His mother has cancer.In the blink of an eye, the landlord went from an evil jerk to someone who was suffering. His rudeness didnt stop, but Inever let himget on my nerves again. Id reappraised his behavior without even trying, just by seeing him in a different light.Fighting bad behavior rarely works. Avoiding it is a great strategy but its not always an option. Both of those two rely on the out side world being changed, and thats why theyre difficult.But what you can always control is how you interpret what you see. So reappraise the awful behavior to something more acceptable. And as soon as youre done weaving a more tolerable story, move on to step 2Run for the exit.Join over 290,000 readers.Get a free weekly update via emailhere.Related postsNew Neuroscience Reveals 4 Rituals That Will Make You HappyNew Harvard Research Reveals A Fun Way To Be More SuccessfulHow To Get People To Like You 7 Ways From An FBI Behavior ExpertThis articleoriginally appeared at Barking Up the Wrong Tree.